Tag!  ~~You’re Loved!!!

I made seven Love Notes to leave in various places around my town this week. I got the idea from Madelyn Mulvaney and her oh so awesome e-course Bones of a Poet ~ Yes!

My first stop was Starbucks. After my barrista had whipped up my double-shot-sugar-free dulce-de-leche-soy latte, I casually dropped my first tag on the checkers table. I hope the person who finds it needs confirmation that they look great.

My next stop was my local crafts store. I was shopping for materials to make my first ever homemade journal (thanks Julie Prichard!!). I was in the glue aisle when I found an free display hook. It was the perfect place for my second note. 

I have five more tags to disperse.

I’m feeling inspired!!!

This week on The Joy Diet Journey, we had a mission: give ourselves treats. Lots of treats. Treats for taking risks. Treats for being alive. Treats for remembering to give ourselves treats.

It. was. quite. a. treat.

I’ve never had problems giving myself unplanned goodies to make my day a bit sweeter. But, this week, when I treated myself, I focused on why I deserved the treat. What thing did  I do just for me that warranted an “I-love-me treat.”

I also broadened my definition of what treat means to me. Usually, I say treats are something delicious and a bit extravagant just for me to eat or drink and enjoy. I changed my perspective a bit this week.

Here is a list of my personal treats. I loved them all and my insides smiled when I enjoyed every one:

1. I had an very nice lunch date with my two kids. We talked and laughed. It was wonderful.

2.  I bought myself a new white gel pen (Love it!) and paints to play with.

3. I made a big pot of chicken ‘n dumplins. Oh, that was a treat for sure!

4. I napped.

5. I bought a Starbucks hot carmel spiced cider (if you haven’t tried it, you must!!)

This was the easiest task yet that I’ve tackled on the Joy Diet. And I really get why Beck included it in our task list.

It’s so easy to forget to treat ourselves with kindness and love. Just today, I received an email from a friend who has worked herself to the point of exhaustion. She knows better than this. But she has been so busy taking care of others that she has forgotten the most important person in her life: her wonderful, beautiful, amazing self.

Treats don’t have to be big things. In fact, I got just as much joy from my gel pen as I did the pricey lunch with my kids.  We all need to remember to take time to acknowledge our inner good girls who work so hard to be good, and strong and perfect and responsible, and …. _____ (add your word here). She needs to know that we love her and that we see how much she tries.

Little treats now and again can give you a boost when you need it and remind you that YOU need love, too.

*** an added bonus***

I read this insightful post over at Chookooloonks this morning. I want to share because I think Karen is on to something … enjoy!

Have a great weekend fellow Joy seekers!!!!!

xo

Me and My man …

We go together like Peanut butter and Jelly …

Thanks Chookooloonks for spreading the love on this Love Thursday!

What treat do you wish for?

When Jamie Ridler asks what treat I wish for today — I can answer immediately!!

I want one of these Custom True love necklaces. I’ve been looking at them for weeks — longingly.

Aren’t they awesome?

I’m working on my Joy Diet journey treats for the week. Stop back by Friday to see all the goodies I’ve treated myself with this week.

NO tricks!! I swear!

The trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong

Take risks toward those secret unspoken nudges

There was so much wisdom in this week’s reading of “The Joy Diet” by Martha Beck for The Next Chapter reading group. I am sure I underlined every other sentence as I read along.

One of the most important lessons I learned this week is that we cannot live a joyful life if we constantly avoid what we fear. Beck says that most of our fears are arbitrary and irrational. Sort of like superstitions: they are also irrational and based in fear.

I can poo-poo away all day the superstition that crossing paths with a black cat is bad luck, yet, if you get me behind the wheel in a new town and ask me to take you anywhere – be prepared to hear my list of reasons I cannot do it.

I have a confession: I am afraid of being alone in an unfamilar location and getting lost.

My rational mind KNOWS this is stupid. I have maps, road signs, landmarks at the ready everytime I must venture out to paths unknown. And I am no shrinking violet: I am an intelligent, capable woman who has done many, many difficult things alone. But, it never fails: When I get into my car to drive to somewhere new, my gut clenches, I feel anxious, annoyed and can cry at the slightest misstep.

There. I said it.

So, when a note announcing Christine Kane’s “Wide Awake Weekend“ first popped in my inbox, I freaked!! The first thing I read was that the retreat is in my price range. Then, I read that it will be located less than a day’s drive away. (screeching brakes sound!)

Uh-oh.

You see, not a month before that e-mail arrived in my inbox, I’d written a Wildly Improbable Goals list (another of Beck’s brilliant ideas).  I listed in my journal 17 of my most outlandish heart’s desires. This list is seriously crazy. But, no kidding: number 7 on my lists states –  ”Go to one of Christine Kane’s retreats.”

Sidenote: ** I also wrote in that list that I wanted to meet Martha Beck while being interviewed by Oprah** Improbable, indeed!!

Wow. Scary stuff.

But what was scarier than the fact that number 7 could actually come true was the thought of driving all the way to Asheville, North Carolina, alone. By. my. self.

I had a decision to make.

I almost let my impossible, crazy heart’s desire slip through my fingers. Almost.

Fortunately, I have a husband who kicks me in the butt every now and then when I need it. He practically wrote the “Sign me up” e-mail himself. He even offered to buy me a GPS. And encouraged me to go ahead and book that room at the Biltmore. I. am. serious!!

That all happened in September. And guess what — in two weeks, I’m getting in my car and driving all the way to Asheville, North Carolina all by myself.

I am excited and terrified in the same breath!!

Ultimately, there was no choice. I had to climb into the monster’s maw. If I do not face my fear, I will miss the Wide Awake Weekend. And to me, that’s risking way too much.

** Look for Martha and me on Oprah any day now ….

 

 

 

What can I give myself today?

Permission –

I give myself permission to rest. I am allowed to close the door to my bedroom or study, light a candle, turn away from the outside world, and escape into my personal oblivion. My body and soul need rest to work at their best. Too many times in the past, I have neglected this need. And as a result, I have been completely unengaged in what was going on around me because I was simply too tired to care. Now, when I need to rest, I shut the door. 

I give myself permission to play. Playtime is not only necessary for kids, it is a must for adults. We all should take moments when we step away from the stress of work, bills, time commitments and responsibilities to do something irrational for no other purpose than because it is fun.

I joined Carmen Torbus’s online art class called Spill It! and I love it! I wish I had discovered my love of playing with paints and making a blank canvas sing with color, texture and images. I do it because it’s fun. I don’t need other reason.

I give myself permission to do things badly. When I was youger, I used to be so hard on myself for not doing everything perfectly. Everytime I was punched in the gut with evidence of being an imperfect wife, mother, employee, daughter, sister, writer …. human, I would listen to the harsh admonishments from my inner Troll. I listened until I felt ashamed and not good enough (I know this now thanks to Brene Brown’s book) . 

I know better now.  I make all kinds of mistakes, especially in the painting class. I am not a perfect anything, and that is Ok. I am imperfect and so is my life. But, now, instead of ugly self talk when things don’t turn out as I’d planned, I sigh, learn from my errors, rethink past choices — then do it better next time.

I give myself permission to have one more chocolate chip cookie. Because life is too sweet to pass it up.

Yes!

 … to get paint under my fingernails

…  to hot, homemade soup bubbling on the stove

… to courage to leap and trusting the net will appear

… to falling down, then standing back up

… to taking risks toward Joy, in spite of that tug of fear

… to listening to my heart and believing its truth

… to red fall leaves that rustle and swirl in the wind

… to empathy, compassion and love

 Today, I want to say Yes!

“Uncomfortable truth #1: You are always responsible for creating your life, whether you like it or not.”

This week in The Joy Diet read along, we used creativity to help us reach our heart’s desires. When most of us think of creativity, we think of expressing ourselves through artsy pursuits: drawing, painting, sewing, cooking – the list could go on. I would bet that not many people apply the same craftsmanship to creating their lives.

This chapter was eye opening for me. I realized that anyone can sit around all day writing in journals or daydreaming about “what if’s, if -onlys, and oh-how I want to’s.”  But changing your life takes action. You must make changes, do things differently, think fresh thoughts, stand  in a new pair of shoes, walk around and see the results.

Chasing your desires is hard work. Many people would rather sit on the side lines, waiting to be picked for the next dance. But to really reach your dreams and find joy, sometimes you have to be the one who walks on the dance floor to dance alone. Not easy.

To me, creatively chasing desires means acknowledging your habits and patterns, then doing something new that throws the routine out of sync. One of Martha’s suggestions is “Perseverate on your Enemies”  – in other words, name the qualities of the person you dislike and see if you might need a bit of that quality yourself. At first, I didn’t like this idea. I don’t want to be anything like the person I dislike. The person I dislike is stubborn, mean, selfish and narcissistic. Grrrr…. thinking about it makes me mad. I try to be none of those things.

But, if I knead those qualities a while, I can see where being stubborn and selfish and a bit narcissistic can help me reach my heart’s desires. For example, to do my Nothing time – I had to be stubborn and take time away from everyone else’s needs to do something just for me. I read books (like The Joy Diet) just for me, I exercise just for me. I paint and blog  and take courses just for me … I stubbornly take time for myself because I feel deserve it and doing those things makes me happy.

Some could call that selfish, stubborn and probably a bit narcissitic. And you what … I don’t care.

I think the purpose of this — and the other “mind yoga” poses — is to help us to see things differently. To ask ourselves, “What would would happen if I did it this way instead … and how can I mold this new way to my advantage?”

Like a painter with a blank canvas, we create our lives through our choices, actions and decisions. Why not pick up a different brush, a new kind of paint, or a charcoal pencil and see what you can create? You might find you create a Joyful life.

I’m following the lead of the sweet Christine from Soul Aperature and posting a pink photo in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

In one hour, I will be on my way to my first mammogram, and I admit — I feel a bit nervous.

I’m wearing my Stay Strong pink shirt for a little extra bravery, and munching on a healthy handful of pink peanut M &Ms because I think I deserve it.

You definitely should visit Soul Aperature today — there’s a picture of an apple crisp that’s to die for!!

xoxo

I am so excited! I signed up for an online art class called Spill It! It’s fun and I am learning so much.

I am no artist, but I love to get my fingers gooey with paint.

Here is my first EVER painting on canvas. I feel so … artsy!

Before you ask, No — I did not draw the trout. I did an image transfer. I WISH I could draw like that!!

I can’t wait to see what I learn next.