Laurie of Aha Life Design Blog has a great idea. She is inviting bloggers to write a paragraph announcing things that they are grateful for just in time for Thanksgiving.

I Love this idea!! What a great opportunity to acknowledge the many wonderful things in my life.

This has been an amazing year for me:

~ I am grateful to share my life with my amazing husband, my son Jacob and my daughter Kelsi.

~ I am blessed with a warm, loving home and a life of comfort, love and joy.

~ I am thrilled I discovered online art e-courses!!

~ I am grateful for hot morning coffee, Internet connections, warm gloves with cute scarves and thick wool socks.

~ I am grateful for my health and the health of the people I love.

~ I am grateful for the First Amendment and the protections it provides.

~ I am grateful that my Life is beautiful, sweet and delicious!!

~ I am grateful that my list could go on and on …

Now, it’s your turn. I am inviting you to write a paragraph here  in the comments section about the things in your life that make you smile on the inside, then pass the gratitude thread along by posting your list on your own blogs. 

Dont’ be shy!

Laughter … every day … is the best. It’s contagious!!!

I’m way behind in The Joy Diet read along. Lots has been going on in the past week. If you are interested, you can read about it here.

This read along is my second read through of The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. The first time I read this book, I was floored by two things: her ideas on Play, and the  concept of Eagle vision vs. Mouse vision.  I underlined practically every word in this chapter.

Embracing these two ideas truly brought Joy to my life at a time when I felt hopeless. Simply realizing that my life’s work was different from the games I was playing in order to achieve it was so liberating. The first time I read this book, one of my games was a job I didn’t like. I was burnt out and bored and could not see a way out. It sucked my spirit out of  me: being there day after day, sitting in a cubicle, listening to mind numbing corporate babble — Yeah, I really disliked that job.

But, when I switched my perspective from Mouse vision to Eagle vision, I could see how the job was actually serving a purpose and it was a way to get me to the next turtle step. That. Idea. Was. So. Liberating! 

Back then, I had no idea of my “real life’s purpose.” I was too busy feeling discouraged and disillusioned by the misconception that my “job” was my life:  if I hate my job, I hate my life … and ultimately, I hate me. I lived in that cess pool of misaligned thoughts for a long time.

“Play” helped me get a new perspective: I am not my “job.” My job is just a means to an end. Simply soaring to Eagle mind helped me see that my sucky job was actually serving me. If I stayed in Mouse mind, I would have never dreamed past the end of my nose. This was so enlightening!!!

That was more than two years ago. I’ve since left that job (finally *sigh!*) and have worked very hard to build a new life. I now have a pretty good idea what my real life’s work is, and I’m making choices and creatively taking risks to achieve it. And I’m happy — really, happy.

I think this chapter is the most important in the book. It’s the chapter I return to most often when I feel I’m off course or stuck. I really love this book.

Last weekend, I attended Christine Kane’s Wide Awake Weekend in Asheville, North Carolina. The event lasted several days and included many amazing people doing powerful, exhausting work. I was there for one day, with one purpose:  the Up Level Your Life Day with Christine and Brooke Castillo.

Oh. I. Loved. It.

It has taken me almost a week and a lot of thinking to process all the lessons I learned there.

One of the best nuggets I picked up was the importance of Decluttering your life. This mesagge reaffirmed for me that to truly focus on your goals, desires and intention, you must eliminate the “stuff” that scatters your energy and depletes your reserves.

That’s what I’ve been doing this week: cleaning house: literally and metaphorically.

I remember after my divorce was final and the dust settled, I purged my house of my old life. I gave away dishes, furniture, books, clothing — all the things you collect while you build a life. Afterward, my house felt “lighter”.  My closets could breathe. I could think.  It was great.

That was many years ago.

When I heard Christine talk to the group about decluttering,  she might as well had been pointing  a wagging finger at me.

So I came back home commited that my first act would be tossing the junk.

I filled bags with clothing and purses I no longer love and hauled them to the Salvation Army. I gave a way a few books; superflous Rubbermaid containers; I tossed half-used make up, lotions, and hair goo  in the trash. And I felt better.

Next I went through my RSS feeds, my Inbox, my FB account. I kept the feeds, emails and FB friends that I love. The rest were gone with a push of a button. Like Christine says, “If it’s not a Hell Yes!,then it’s a Hell No.”

I not only tackled my physical environment, I cleared my mental environment of junk, too. I turned my head sideways and shook out thoughts, ideas and feelings that no longer serve me. This is on-going. Lots of cobwebs and tired old tapes to contend with in there.

I also took some time to consider this blog andwhat it means to me. This is not the first time I’ve taken this blog to tribal council.

In the end, I decided to stay here a while longer. I am not sure I have followers or readers. I really don’t keep up with all that. I don’t know if people stumble on it, read it and find it useful, relevent or entertaining, although I hope some do.

I’m still here because … well …. I write this blog for me. It gives me an outlet: a place to post amateur photographs;  a platform for writing; and most importantly, a vehicle to connect with a community who thinks like I do. I learn so much from other bloggers. I’m not willing to let that go.

I’ve decluttered … again … and I feel ready to focus my energy on what’s next. Can’t wait!

Tag!  ~~You’re Loved!!!

I made seven Love Notes to leave in various places around my town this week. I got the idea from Madelyn Mulvaney and her oh so awesome e-course Bones of a Poet ~ Yes!

My first stop was Starbucks. After my barrista had whipped up my double-shot-sugar-free dulce-de-leche-soy latte, I casually dropped my first tag on the checkers table. I hope the person who finds it needs confirmation that they look great.

My next stop was my local crafts store. I was shopping for materials to make my first ever homemade journal (thanks Julie Prichard!!). I was in the glue aisle when I found an free display hook. It was the perfect place for my second note. 

I have five more tags to disperse.

I’m feeling inspired!!!

This week on The Joy Diet Journey, we had a mission: give ourselves treats. Lots of treats. Treats for taking risks. Treats for being alive. Treats for remembering to give ourselves treats.

It. was. quite. a. treat.

I’ve never had problems giving myself unplanned goodies to make my day a bit sweeter. But, this week, when I treated myself, I focused on why I deserved the treat. What thing did  I do just for me that warranted an “I-love-me treat.”

I also broadened my definition of what treat means to me. Usually, I say treats are something delicious and a bit extravagant just for me to eat or drink and enjoy. I changed my perspective a bit this week.

Here is a list of my personal treats. I loved them all and my insides smiled when I enjoyed every one:

1. I had an very nice lunch date with my two kids. We talked and laughed. It was wonderful.

2.  I bought myself a new white gel pen (Love it!) and paints to play with.

3. I made a big pot of chicken ‘n dumplins. Oh, that was a treat for sure!

4. I napped.

5. I bought a Starbucks hot carmel spiced cider (if you haven’t tried it, you must!!)

This was the easiest task yet that I’ve tackled on the Joy Diet. And I really get why Beck included it in our task list.

It’s so easy to forget to treat ourselves with kindness and love. Just today, I received an email from a friend who has worked herself to the point of exhaustion. She knows better than this. But she has been so busy taking care of others that she has forgotten the most important person in her life: her wonderful, beautiful, amazing self.

Treats don’t have to be big things. In fact, I got just as much joy from my gel pen as I did the pricey lunch with my kids.  We all need to remember to take time to acknowledge our inner good girls who work so hard to be good, and strong and perfect and responsible, and …. _____ (add your word here). She needs to know that we love her and that we see how much she tries.

Little treats now and again can give you a boost when you need it and remind you that YOU need love, too.

*** an added bonus***

I read this insightful post over at Chookooloonks this morning. I want to share because I think Karen is on to something … enjoy!

Have a great weekend fellow Joy seekers!!!!!

xo

Me and My man …

We go together like Peanut butter and Jelly …

Thanks Chookooloonks for spreading the love on this Love Thursday!

What treat do you wish for?

When Jamie Ridler asks what treat I wish for today — I can answer immediately!!

I want one of these Custom True love necklaces. I’ve been looking at them for weeks — longingly.

Aren’t they awesome?

I’m working on my Joy Diet journey treats for the week. Stop back by Friday to see all the goodies I’ve treated myself with this week.

NO tricks!! I swear!

The trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong

Take risks toward those secret unspoken nudges

There was so much wisdom in this week’s reading of “The Joy Diet” by Martha Beck for The Next Chapter reading group. I am sure I underlined every other sentence as I read along.

One of the most important lessons I learned this week is that we cannot live a joyful life if we constantly avoid what we fear. Beck says that most of our fears are arbitrary and irrational. Sort of like superstitions: they are also irrational and based in fear.

I can poo-poo away all day the superstition that crossing paths with a black cat is bad luck, yet, if you get me behind the wheel in a new town and ask me to take you anywhere – be prepared to hear my list of reasons I cannot do it.

I have a confession: I am afraid of being alone in an unfamilar location and getting lost.

My rational mind KNOWS this is stupid. I have maps, road signs, landmarks at the ready everytime I must venture out to paths unknown. And I am no shrinking violet: I am an intelligent, capable woman who has done many, many difficult things alone. But, it never fails: When I get into my car to drive to somewhere new, my gut clenches, I feel anxious, annoyed and can cry at the slightest misstep.

There. I said it.

So, when a note announcing Christine Kane’s “Wide Awake Weekend“ first popped in my inbox, I freaked!! The first thing I read was that the retreat is in my price range. Then, I read that it will be located less than a day’s drive away. (screeching brakes sound!)

Uh-oh.

You see, not a month before that e-mail arrived in my inbox, I’d written a Wildly Improbable Goals list (another of Beck’s brilliant ideas).  I listed in my journal 17 of my most outlandish heart’s desires. This list is seriously crazy. But, no kidding: number 7 on my lists states –  ”Go to one of Christine Kane’s retreats.”

Sidenote: ** I also wrote in that list that I wanted to meet Martha Beck while being interviewed by Oprah** Improbable, indeed!!

Wow. Scary stuff.

But what was scarier than the fact that number 7 could actually come true was the thought of driving all the way to Asheville, North Carolina, alone. By. my. self.

I had a decision to make.

I almost let my impossible, crazy heart’s desire slip through my fingers. Almost.

Fortunately, I have a husband who kicks me in the butt every now and then when I need it. He practically wrote the “Sign me up” e-mail himself. He even offered to buy me a GPS. And encouraged me to go ahead and book that room at the Biltmore. I. am. serious!!

That all happened in September. And guess what — in two weeks, I’m getting in my car and driving all the way to Asheville, North Carolina all by myself.

I am excited and terrified in the same breath!!

Ultimately, there was no choice. I had to climb into the monster’s maw. If I do not face my fear, I will miss the Wide Awake Weekend. And to me, that’s risking way too much.

** Look for Martha and me on Oprah any day now ….

 

 

 

What can I give myself today?

Permission –

I give myself permission to rest. I am allowed to close the door to my bedroom or study, light a candle, turn away from the outside world, and escape into my personal oblivion. My body and soul need rest to work at their best. Too many times in the past, I have neglected this need. And as a result, I have been completely unengaged in what was going on around me because I was simply too tired to care. Now, when I need to rest, I shut the door. 

I give myself permission to play. Playtime is not only necessary for kids, it is a must for adults. We all should take moments when we step away from the stress of work, bills, time commitments and responsibilities to do something irrational for no other purpose than because it is fun.

I joined Carmen Torbus’s online art class called Spill It! and I love it! I wish I had discovered my love of playing with paints and making a blank canvas sing with color, texture and images. I do it because it’s fun. I don’t need other reason.

I give myself permission to do things badly. When I was youger, I used to be so hard on myself for not doing everything perfectly. Everytime I was punched in the gut with evidence of being an imperfect wife, mother, employee, daughter, sister, writer …. human, I would listen to the harsh admonishments from my inner Troll. I listened until I felt ashamed and not good enough (I know this now thanks to Brene Brown’s book) . 

I know better now.  I make all kinds of mistakes, especially in the painting class. I am not a perfect anything, and that is Ok. I am imperfect and so is my life. But, now, instead of ugly self talk when things don’t turn out as I’d planned, I sigh, learn from my errors, rethink past choices — then do it better next time.

I give myself permission to have one more chocolate chip cookie. Because life is too sweet to pass it up.